I'm the type of guy who believes in "giving someone just enough rope to hang themselves with". 50 years of walking this earth will do that to you. I gave her the rope and as Space mentions, let her lead herself to the gallows.
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Her boundaries are far from good. The mere fact that she was willing to go on that kind of trip and that kind of weekend with someone she barely knows.
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I am keeping that in the back of my mind. My gf told me the friend has sent texts already asking her to reconsider. My gf has reassured me that she is not going now. I do worry about something coming up and her changing her mind
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If your gf wants to be a party girl then you can decide if you want that kind of partner or not... Better to know now than some years, kids and a mortgage down the road.
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I was very hesitant on her going knowing the situation about the villa. Now that it came out the whole trip was not for work but for her friend to see her secret man in Italy and seeing his FB page, it would be devastating to me if she changed her mind and went
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She may or may not realize the final decision she makes on this issue is going to be a decision that decides the course of your relationship
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This is why it is important you let her figure this out on her own. If she thinks you will cave eventually, you have a long weekend ahead of you
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Again, I know it will be difficult at best to stay silent about the trip, being it is the 800 pound elephant in the room, but in order for her to put her money where her mouth is,or swing like Field Marshall Jodl at Nuremberg,you need to afford her the opportunity to do so
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You'll pretty much know within the next few days how this is going to play out. I still think she is still is going to try to talk you into letting her go. It could be the unrefundable ticket, "fear" for the other friend's safety...etc
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In fact I would go so far as to say that the REAL reason for the Trip is to tell the guy he knocked her up. I don't think her husband is the father of this child. You don't throw caution to the wind and risk your marriage at 2 months pregnant and go halfway around the world to hookup unless it is for really good reason
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Side question: has your gf cheated on a bf / husband in the past? Might be a good time to find out. You can start a convo in a non accusatory manner asking about the affair and if she's ever had one. "No big deal if you did" (yeah, right)
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As regards to the bridesmaid that you are seeing now. She is well worth getting to know I think. For her to do the right thing even at the risk of her friendship speaks volumes. Also she might not regret losing such a friend that would do what she did
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