Also perhaps "I felt less responsible for what was happening because she was initiating everything. It was easier to continue than to stop"
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- aforementioned asking happens: in bed before sleep, after sex, while we watch TV i.e. the usual dinner routine, before big date out (i.e. times completely inappropriate for a "talk")
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Why are you two unable to communicate? Are you both emotionally reserved? Which one? Why is that person reserved? Past trauma? Who caused that trauma? An ex? Are they still in love with that ex? This isn't to imply that is the line of questioning that will find the resolution. It's an example of how these things usually go
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- we ask each other are we frustrated with the other (we both visibly are) and both say we'll say if it happens (read: if it gets REAL bad)
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You open a light, casual conversation while you are doing something casual, at dinner is OK as long as it's approached in a light way. You say, "I've been thinking about Xthing or Xthing has been bothering me. I'd like it if we could sit down and talk about how we can work together on it. When would be a good time for you? We don't have to do it now
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How to break the routine and learn to communicate with him? I feel like if Iask him out and specifically emphasize that we'll talk serious business, he'll understand it as if i'm initiating break up. I don't know how to proceed if I am to save the relationship
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There's no good time for this conversation. Bring it up when you're happy to and accept that he might not be open to discussing it there and then
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The only time I was able to being up, "the elephant in the room" my (now) ex only discussed it when he was happy to (as in when he had found another woman to run to). I had tried to discuss our problems at least six times by then
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None of this bodes well. Bring it up as many times as you need to because not all adults are able to discuss these matters at the same time. Good luck, it's never easy
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* Why are you two unable to communicate? -I think because we are both in our thirties, and don't have had many relationships before our current one (I had only 2 before him, and sadly, both turned to be emotionally unhealthy)
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* Are you both emotionally reserved? Which one? Why is that person reserved? Past trauma? Who caused that trauma? Both. He had frustrating experiences with family and in his community. I had frustrating experiences with family, exes and bosses
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* An ex? Are they still in love with that ex? -no feelings for exes from my side, and from his to my knowledge. But my previous relationship was so abusive, that it makes me guarded
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