I didn't have my fiance and my son around each other much for the first year we were dating. I didn't have him around my son at all for 6 or 7 months. He knew I had a son and what days I would not be available to hang out. It was mostly because I didn't want to expose my son to someone who might be a detrimental influence or make him feel unwanted. I have male friends, some who have kids of their own. My son and I would get together with them, but it is a different vibe than having your BF over. Friends of either gender that do not enjoy even well behaved kids didn't get invited over when my son was around either. I can't imagine putting my son in a situation where he would be made to feel like a leper or treated shabbily just because I might get laid
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I understand that toddlers can wear on childless people, but really, after age 7, a well behaved kid is just a small person. They want to be your friend and to treat you like the most fascinating person alive, even if you're a overly entitled jerk
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I would not have stayed with my fiance if he had ever tried to limit my life as a parent in anyway. My mother allowed men she dated and my step father to treat me as a detriment and it hurt. It would hurt anyone of any age to have the people you should most trust let someone crap on you and act like they didn't want you around. No amount of education can excuse that kind of attitude
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Bottom line with all that has been said is this. If you find someone that you really love or care about, are you willing to walk away from that person beccause they have kids? Kids grow up and move away. If you can find plenty of people to date that you consider a good fit for you then more power to you..I would never pass on someone because of this BUT again it would have to be someone I considered special as kids do make the situation more complex. It has to be the right person. Bottom line. Only you can make that call
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After dating six months and then a year or so - how involved do you expect your SO to be with your children? Would you hope they know a certain amount of info?
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My bf's ex-gf is a single mother. However, she does not have custody. He never met her children. They dated about a year. Knew each other longer. She rarely sees them (maybe once a year?); she does talk to them on the phone, but usually fails to pay the child support that she owes her ex-husband, despite being employed and otherwise debt free. She's not a very responsible person. She (obviously) would never have any kind of issue with these types of questions
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If you want to judge other people, and other people's decisions, based on your own values, I suppose that is your right. (Dreamer, I'm not specifically addressing this statement to you, "you" and "your" is a general you/your.)
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As long as everyone is open and honest about their expectations within their relationships as a single parent, or with a single parent...to each his/her own
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So New Years Eve I had plans with the guy I like to go to a party but those plans fell through so we ended up hanging out with my family (we could have gone to other parties, but he didn't mind being with my family) this only the second time we have actually hung out together .. do you think he may be interested? i'm thinking any other guy would have made an excuse & said something like "oh well we can hang out another time" don't you think New Years Eve is a special night to spend with someone?
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All I can tell you is that he probably really likes you because this is WAY above and beyond the call of duty for only the second time he sees you
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