It would be a heck of a lot of pressure to put on a girl of your dreams to teach you the basics when as it is with each partner we all have to learn and take instruction on what they like whilst also expressing what we like
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I suppose there are numerous reasons people like what they do and like what they like, what those reasons might be is probably a question which cannot be answered without moving in towards the superficial
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You are right ladies don't date for the sake of it but guys do compete, of that there is not doubt, simplistically it happens all day everywhere
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I still don't think there was anything wrong with how I looked, I did all the work and the result remains exactly the same so whether you can actually say any of these new looks and styles were successful is a moot point. Had there been a dramatic improvement it would be easy to say it was really worthwhile, the ONLY real improvement I have got from this whole exercise is a friend who exactly accepts me for who I am
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Its perspective and opportunity cost, the reality is I can expend energy into other areas of life and get a much higher return on that time than I get trying to date and understand how to date. I have dumped the dinner idea on dates and now do water/coffee but find I just don't connect with people at all
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What I cannot convey here is just how badly I fit in and how horrible this is, there is a reason I sit and work on things and don't go out, its simple I have lots to talk about but nothing of relevance or interest, it is unfortunately who I am, which is why I guess when every so rarely often I do find someone I can get on well with its so nice to have that person around and I over invest
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The reality for me is all I really need is a friend because that's really all I can offer at least I am apparently very good at being that based on the comments from the few very diverse friends I do have
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I agree, I did try it again this week and had a similar experience, I'll keep rather half heartedly trying it though in the back of my mind I am realistic. I get what you are saying and its very valid but its also extremely difficult to be upbeat about something there doesn't seem to be an upside to
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Advice is probably one of the most valuable things we as people can give because its based on perspective and to some extent experience. People perceive me as not taking advice on board which isn't true, I do try and smile at people, I do try project confidence even when I don't feel confident at all. What I take out of here cant be overstated, yes I do feel unbelievably down at the moment and these posts probably reflect that, I was genuinely looking forward to meeting this Tinder lady
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While I am obviously not happy to not have experienced anything I do have an untainted eye so when I go to breakfast or lunch with a girl "friend" its a new experience and because I have never had that before I enjoy it all the more, for many its a stupid thing they have done countless times, for me its something new and nice. It doesn't happen often but when I does I get a sense of how nice things could be on the other side and find some motivation to go back to OLD and the like and try again
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I'll try get noticed somehow, maybe that's the answer to a lot of this. What might make some feel a bit better is I am slim and athletic but guys I know who aren't in shape completely kill me at the dating game by virtue of personality and charm so looks it appears aren't really that helpful or enough to overcome other "issues"
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What is probably needed is a mind set change on my part. It doesn't help that for the most part the non dating site people I meet have "spoilt" me to a certain standard which perhaps is not representative of what is actually out there
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I ask because I see a fair few posts from guys saying things like "oh i couldn't meet her again for a week till I had enough money to pay for the date" etc
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I know I could have said that I want to watch an arthouse movie and he may have gone along with that but I feel those things should just click naturally
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My first question is why go to his apartment on the first date??? It turned out innocent enough, but not a wise move. He sounds a little on the lackluster side. I can see that you have differing interests, but these, thus far, can be overcome. I don't know what the 'casino' area is, but is it a safety concern? Let him know how you feel and change the venue. Suggest some other places?
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If you really don't want to see this movie with him in a mainstream, non art-house theater speak up. He's made is preferences known: tea & non-art house movies. Since you haven't said anything he probably thinks you like the same stuff he likes. You haven't even given him a chance to come around to your way of thinking. You just want to reject him because what you know about his preferences don't match yours
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