No not always. Anyone can fall into going on a first date with a loser. It's not like they were signs on their foreheads. Whether or not you choose to keep continuing on despite seeing that it isn't right just because some you like that spark/feeling. You aren't being honest with yourself
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If someone wants to be in a relationship so badly that they'd prefer to be with someone they're not attracted to than to be alone, then that's what they'll do. Some people need to feel attracted to be in a relationship that is supposed to include sex. Most people, I bet.
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Nobody on this thread is talking about doing the same thing over and over. Well, except for that one guy (who can't get any girls interested in him). The rest of us participating here seem to be just fine with needing a person we're attracted to if we're going to be in a romantic / sexual relationship with them - even if it takes a long time to find that
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There's a huge difference between making a choice for your own happiness to open up to different kinds of attractions vs. being guilted into it cause a "nice guy" thinks you should go out. You don't owe anyone a date
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I'm saying that depending solely on it like it's some magic fairy dust could be a problem for some people cause it won't appear immediately or it may lead you into a toxic relationship
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It feels like you are acting like there's no other option. There can be a spark and it still be a wrong relationship. That's what I'm trying to tell you. People who are married for 20 years can have had the spark and still be a terrible marriage
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I feel like you and I aren't even participating in the same conversation. I certainly never said that a "spark" equals a good potential relationship
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What I KEEP saying is that most people (every single person I know) is NOT INTERESTED in pursuing a romantic / sexual relationship with a person they feel NO ATTRACTION for
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I guess I'm not being clear cause that's 100% not what I'm saying. I'm saying there's a multitude of ways to get that spark. It might not appear on first sight, it might not appear until after the third date, or it might not appear until later on
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Do you understand how insulting it is to women to read on this thread that we are somehow incapable of knowing whether we are interested in a guy or not? If we think there is potential many of us WILL go ahead and spend no time. When we KNOW 100% it's a NO - regardless of the guy's credentials or his own high opinion of himself - we are going to walk, and that's the right thing for everybody
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Study after study supports the idea of “assortative mating”: the hypothesis that people generally date and marry partners who are like them in terms of social class, educational background, race, personality, and, of course, attractiveness
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At the start of the semester, they asked students in small classes to rate the desirability of their classmates. (Desirability could incorporate non-physical attributes as well as good looks.) When the researchers looked at the ratings, they found that most students agreed on who was hot and who was not
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More importantly, the students no longer agreed. Their rankings reflected their personal preferences about the non-physical attributes of the other people in the class. Where one classmate might find a student’s earnestness in class endearing, another might dislike it
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